Your brain triggers a fight-or-flight response-dealing with the danger or running away from it. Resolving a conflict is a tough thing to face when you don’t know what the outcome will be. “The most difficult thing to understand during conversation is silence.” The importance and benefits of having difficult conversations Next, we’ll get into the benefits of standing up to our foes. Recognizing the signs that you have conflict phobia is important so you can take action towards uncomfortable, but healthy conversations. Your mind can deceive you when there’s fear. You deceive yourself by saying, “Everything will work out by itself.”ħ) Not acknowledging that there is a conflict. Putting off hard conversations becomes routine. A resolution is important to you, but you fear rejection, humiliation, and uncertainty. “I don’t want to talk about it right now.” Or, “Let’s just see what happens then we can take it from there.” You avoid open-ended questions and “Let’s talk about something positive” is your answer when the conversation turns serious.Ħ) You don’t say what you want to say. Frustration and resentment towards the other person lingers.ĥ) You skirt around the issue in conversations. The prolonged stress, many times for years, can take a toll on your health and relationship. Kids bullied that extend into adulthood suffer from this behavior.Ĥ) You hold a grudge without the other person knowing. A minor disturbance turns into an enraging dilemma. You convince yourself that making others happy at the expense of your own is generous.ģ) You are a dormant hothead, keeping in your anger until it builds and bursts. So what are the signs that you’re avoiding uncomfortable conversations?ġ) You put on a silent smile when things don’t get worked out, though you’re stressed from the situation.Ģ) You say “Yes” to everything, nodding your head, agreeing to proposals you’re uncomfortable taking part in.
The other person feels neglected and your understanding of them and the situation decreases-only escalating the problem to bigger proportions. The more you ignore confrontation, your mental health suffers. It’s better to sit on the sidelines than play out in the field where you can get hurt. No wonder even the slightest aggressive behavior from others will make you retreat to safety. Action movies bring armed clashes to the forefront. We have wired you from the beginning that confrontation brings grief and sometimes violence. “People fail to get along because they fear each other they fear each other because they don’t know each other they don’t know each other because they have not communicated with each other.”īehavior paradigms stem from childhood. Or is it you that’s weak, passive, and stuck in your fear of facing disputes? Melodramatic in a quiet, submissive way. These people are pessimistic and should be avoided, you say. Stereotyping the people who thrive on conflict as drama queens, attention-getters, and bullies who want to be superior and show you who’s right. You tell yourself that you’re a peaceful person, that the best way to resolve a conflict is to just not say anything, avoid the person, and make everything seem like it didn’t happen.
#Uncomfortable conversations how to
That said, let’s dive into some symptoms of conflict phobia and how to recognize them. Following a peaceful conflict process, guideline can help facilitate sharing of ideas and solving problems together. Preparing for an uncomfortable conversation can affect the choices you make during the difficult talk and put you at ease. Identifying the benefits of making a truce with friends, family and co-workers allows you see the value in healthy relationships. Recognizing signs that you’re afflicted with conflict phobia is important for outlining a resolution strategy. So how do you face uncomfortable conversations when you have a fear of conflict in your personal and work life? It’s a two-way street: conflict causes stress and stress causes conflict. This is 2-1/2 weeks of productivity each year.” The figure is the equivalent of 385 million days on the job, going toward the goal of arguing, as opposed to being put toward collaboration. This amounts to around $359 billion in hours paid that are filled with–and focused on–conflict instead of on positive productivity. Facing difficult, uncomfortable conversations can cause worry.Īccording to a CPP Global Human Capital report, “ Employees in United States companies spend approximately 2.8 hours each week involved in conflict.
The American Psychological Association reports that 75% of Americans adults experienced moderate to high levels of stress in the past month and half reported that their stress has increased in the past year. Conflict with others is one of the major causes of stress.